Carlson, Richard: Don't Sweat the Small Stuff... and It's All Small Stuff. New York: Hyperion, 1997. Print. 246 pages.
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SUMMARY: 100 points on how to reduce stress and thereby improve different aspects of one's life. The main tenant (as is made obvious by the title) is to not "sweat the small stuff" and always keep the bigger picture in mind.
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FAVORITE QUOTE: "The greatest discovery of my generation is that a human being can alter his life by altering his attitude." - William James (Introduction, page 1).
This quote isn't written by the author, but I really loved that the author opened his book with such an empowering quote. Your attitude is always under your control.
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I found a copy of this book laying around my cousin's living room many years ago when I was a freshman in high school. Again, going with aesthetics, I liked the size of the book. It was small and almost a square, a design typically not utilized by publishers. I decided to read a few entries, enjoyed it, and subsequently bought it as a graduation present for my sister in 2003. I forgot about this book for the next ten years, until seeing it again on a bookshelf in my parents' home. As I'm growing older, life is only getting busier and I will freely admit that I do let small, insignificant things (although at the time they seem very significant) get to me. Now that it is summer and I am free of classes, I thought it would be a great time to have a refresher, to remind myself that I shouldn't sweat the small stuff.
The setup of this post will be a little different: instead of listing things I liked about this book, I'm going to list my top five of the 100 points.
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Top 5 points I really liked in this book, in numerical order:
- Point #3: Let go of the Idea that Gentle, Relaxed People Can't be Superachievers
- We're all surrounded by individuals who are extraordinary at stressing out over anything and everything. Sometimes I see these people for what they are: over-stressed and high-strung. But other times I trick myself into thinking that those who have more stress in their lives must be more accomplished. They obviously have more on their plate than me, were going to achieve more than me, and thus become more successful. Luckily, those moments are rare. I've learned that there is a difference between negative and positive stress, and I conscientiously avoid those who exude nothing but negative stress. It is definitely possible to be relaxed and calm and still achieve high goals.
- Point #19: Lower Your Tolerance to Stress
- This is a great point that I always forget. Just because I am able to carry a certain level of stress doesn't mean it is healthy. Rather, I should always strive to lower my stress level by utilizing various methods to make a stressful situation less stressful, such as changing my attitude towards the situation, changing my approach to completing the task, etc..
- Point #54: Understand the Statement, "Wherever You Go, There You Are"
- "The significance of this statement is that it can teach you to stop constantly wishing you were somewhere else." - page 133. A great point to remember. Always be in the present moment.
- Point #56: Be Grateful when You're Feeling Good and Graceful when You're Feeling Bad
- This is one of the major points of my favorite self-help/mental health book, "The Happiness Trap" (see blog post: http://artemisiaeupraxia.blogspot.com/2012/05/5-happiness-trap.html). We will have high highs and equally low lows, but neither are permanent states. Be grateful when you're happy and life feels perfect. Similarly, when life feels like its going to hell, remember that it will pass.
- Point #65: Be Flexible with Changes in Your Plans
- Unflexibility causes so much unnecessary stress. Unless you're in an isolated bubble where you rely on yourself for everything, and that includes controlling traffic and the weather, then there will always be changes to your plans. So deal with it by accepting that unexpected changes can and will happen.
Main theme I didn't like about this book:
- The author insists, in many points, that it is often better to keep one's mouth shut and let another person feel that they are right than to argue one's point. He amends this statement one time by saying that if the argument is over a moral or ethical matter then one should definitely put forth their side. In all other situations, according to the author, it is better to feel peace than to argue a difference of opinion. I disagree with this statement. Life is made much richer by learning about other points of view (which is, ironically, another theme the author expresses in numerous points). If you know you will benefit from hearing a different side, then shouldn't you extend that same learning opportunity to other people? Whether or not they accept such an opportunity is up to them. But if your life is benefited by learning about other points of view, then others should be given the chance to learn from your point of view.
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I enjoyed reading this book, and because I only read a few pages at a time (I was reading two other books simultaneously), I think I benefited even more from what it had to offer. I tried applying the points I had read on the same day as reading them, which was great practice. Many of these points are ones that I already know (and ones I'm sure you already know), but every once in a while we need reminders, and this book is just that, a perfect reminder.
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Recommend? Yes! It's a quick read and if even one lesson improves your life and reduces stress, then I think it's worth the time.
